Sunday, December 09, 2007

Raising Resilient Children

If you only have time to read one parenting book, I'd recommend "Raising Resilient Children" by Dr. Robert Brooks and Dr. Sam Goldstein. I just recently discovered this book published back in 2001. I recalled difficult times with my sons and this book would have provided excellent solutions to those problems I had been through.

The goal of parenting is to raise happy, healthy and successful children. It can be translated to one quality -- resilience. The guideposts for parents include:

  1. Being empathic
  2. Communicating effectively and listening actively
  3. Changing "negative scripts"
  4. Loving our children in ways that help them to feel special and appreciated
  5. Accepting our children for who they are and helping them to set realistic expectations and goals
  6. Helping our children experience success by identifying and reinforcing their "island of competence"
  7. Helping children recognize that mistakes are experiences from which to learn
  8. Developing responsibility, compassion, and a social conscience by providing children with opportunities to contribute
  9. Teaching our children to solve problems and make decisions
  10. Disciplining in a way that promotes self-discipline and self-worth

The authors are renowned psychologists who had worked with children and parents on real issues for decades. The scenarios told in the book are all too familiar. Either I experience it myself or episodes experienced by my friends. It is hopeful to see solutions being tested and outlined.

I must admit it may be not easy to act on these advices, but it is certainly a great starting point for parents to foster a wonderful relationship with your children.